Cebu City, Cebu, Philippines
5 questions with guest interviews

Hello! My name is Toma and I'm 22 years old. I'm studying for a Master's in Economics, however I recently started feeling that it's not really the path I want to pursue and something that I'm really passionate about is writing and drawing. In the past I've shared a few personal stories on my blog and now I'm doing Blogmas and posting everything Christmas related! In the future it'd like my blog to be a safe and inspiring place for creatives of all sorts. I'm looking forward to putting up the new content in the beginning of the next year!

My blog: https://www.tomaruh.com

My instagram: @toma_ruh

1. Would you say outspoken people are problematic? Why or why not?

Not necessarily. I believe in speaking about the things you believe in even though it doesn't go with other people's opinions and is uncomfortable for some to hear. However, it's a subtle art to get the message across right. If it's done in a respectful, calm and well-argued way, it shouldn't make anyone seem problematic.

2. What is something that truly scares you?

Death and spiders. The first one is self-explanatory, I think a lot of us wonder what happens after we die and the unknown is really freaking scary. Fear of spiders is a little bit more funny even though it's not so funny when I see one. It really cracks me up when I remember all the breakdowns over spiders getting into my home I had over the years. When I have nightmares, most of the time it's the spiders crawling on my apartment walls.

3. How do you get out of uncomfortable situations without looking disrespectful?

I'm literally the worst at this. I get super uncomfortable and anxious in situations like that. I think the best way to go is just being honest. There is nothing wrong to say "I'm not interested" or "I really don't feel comfortable". Nevertheless, what I do is slap good old "gotta go" or "did I hear my name? That must be my friend calling me". Very awkward. 

4. How do you create boundaries from your parents?

I don't think I ever tried to do that. Most of the time my parents are very much living their own lives and whatever I do it's my business and they don't try to control my life in any way. A relationship that needs some boundaries set is between me and my grandma. She is often manifesting a life for me that I don't want to have, not taking my relationships seriously and trying to gaslight me into taking certain decisions. I love her and talk to her all the time but honestly it gets too much. I just try to tell her that I'm trying to live my life and she shouldn't try to control how I do it. Doesn't always work, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

5. If you were to talk to the past self of your mother, what would you ask her and why?

If I had a chance to talk to the younger self of my mother, I'd ask her what hobbies she has and how she spends time with her friends. The 80s and 90s were very interesting times and it'd be totally awesome to find out how my mother's life was back in those days.

Thanks a lot to Monique for reaching out to me and asking these interesting questions! I hope everybody is having a wonderful December and I wish you all happy holidays and amazing end of the year!

Toma ♥️

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