5 WORDS OF WISDOM TO LEARN BEFORE YOU TURN 20

Cebu City, Cebu, Philippines

 

5 words of wisdom to learn before you turn 20
Hi, I'm Monique! 



A little something about me:


I’m a 20-year-old college student from the Philippines. And just this year, I’ve finally mustered up my courage (after how many days of introspection and watching motivation videos) to make my childhood dream a reality --- to be a traditionally published author.


Well, sort of.


Currently, I’m editing my first ever YA novel with one of my instructors to be submitted to Anvil Publishing Inc. It's called Wonderfully So. I've published all my zero drafts in Wattpad (as a first-timer) gradually from May to October 2020. 



All credits go to Micah P. Rolloque


But let's talk about that on my next blog post. 

For my first ever blog post, we aren't going to talk about the wonders of being 20. We aren't going to talk about how everything’s going to magically put things into perspective at this age because it’s not. It's never going to turn out right without your hard work. 


We aren’t going to talk about how your mind feels like exploding every time someone asks you what you want to be 10 years from now. I bet you think about it every minute of your life. 


Your future. It's scary, isn't it? The fear of the future never goes away, and it's great that it doesn't. 


The idea of uncertainty is mind-boggling, but it's all we have. The fear allows us to be strong because somehow we never know what we're up against; it's what keeps us going. 


When you see someone your age making it in life while you're still in the same place as that someone was years back, you just feel like trash floating in a stagnant canal.


Sure, you may feel happy for your friend and you may even support him in his endeavors, but you can't help but think about yourself. 




What about me? Where am I going with my life? 



You feel like you're not going anywhere.



The answers to your questions will shape differently when they come from different people. 



Remember, what you feed your mind is as essential as what you create out of it. 



This blog post isn’t about life as you turn 20 or what to do now that you’re 20. This is about your journey way before that.




5 words of wisdom to learn before you turn 20





5 THINGS YOU NEED TO LEARN AND DIGEST BEFORE YOU TURN 20:





DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING. ENTITLEMENT IS YOUR ENEMY. 



It’s inside all of us, that sliver of entitlement. We all have pride in each one of us, and that’s not a bad thing. What’s worse is when you think you're above everybody else and expect a special type of treatment from people (even when you don't deserve it). Sorry to rain on your parade, but you don't deserve anything without working for it. You can't say you deserve to achieve a dream you did not plan for, sacrifice for, or even fail in. 



Don't expect life to lower down its walls for you, it's not. You will need to climb over it brick by brick to get to the other side. Don't expect people to be kind to you because you've been kind to them. Don't expect bills to stop growing just because you're going through an emotional breakdown over the past weekend, it's not. Life doesn't care if you're not ready for it, but it will surely make you care. It's all part of the process. Hold on and don't let go. You will make it. 




CHOOSE FRIENDS YOU CAN BE YOURSELF WITH. 



Be careful with whom you trust your plans. You need a friend who celebrates with you in your seasons of joy and mourns with you in your seasons of pain. It's okay if you don't talk with your friends every day, what matters is you feel their presence in your journey despite their absence (through the unconditional support they give to you). Stop tolerating friends who show signs of jealousy and hate for your plans. Remove them from your life if all they give you are doubts and reminders of your weaknesses. Thank friends who support you and make you aware of your mistakes, but do not allow them to build in more fear in yourself. 



People are tricky, including yourself. Sometimes you meet people who genuinely pray for your success and sometimes you don't. Sometimes the people who have been in your life for the longest time aren't meant to be in it for another day. Sometimes the people you've let go of are the ones you yearn for when you feel like drowning, and it's okay to swallow your pride and let them back in. 




EVERYTHING WILL PASS.



Trust me when I say, that the pain you’re feeling, whatever it is, will not last. Even if you feel broken or torn for feeling unappreciated or unseen despite all your efforts and silent successes, always remember that there is a purpose why people are blind to them. There is an incredible purpose for your pain, and that's okay if you can't seem to figure out it all yet. You are given that challenge to test how much burden you can take, and when you pass that test, eventually you'll thank yourself for not giving up. 



Acknowledge the problem you're in. Take a deep breath and think about ways to alleviate your situation without dwelling more on the failure. Remember your goal, your dream. Put in mind the days you've invested into reaching this point of your journey, and tell yourself how stupid it would be if you were to give up because everything isn't working out well at the moment. Remember Advice #1, you don't deserve anything until you work for it. 




THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR GROWTH.



Pat yourself on the shoulder in the face of failure. That means you're moving forward. That means you're trying. That means you're not in the same place as before. Most people think failure is the end of success which is wrong. The mistakes you've made are a manifestation of your commitment to your dream. You're getting out of your comfort zone and trying out new strategies to attack the problem. 



Enjoy failure, especially in your teens. Enjoy the fact that you don't know everything and you can't learn everything in a single day. You need people to help you get out of that quicksand. Don't be stubborn; you're still learning like everybody else. Either in success or in failure, you need to constantly sweat, bleed, and suffer to grow. The reason you feel like giving up is that you're still gradually transforming into somebody who can take it. You're still in transition, embrace it. 




DON'T BE AFRAID. FEAR IS A MYTH. 



Fear is like a gigantic force field separating you from your dream. Don't allow that force field to discourage you from going past it because you have the power against it. Only you. It's normal when you want things to be under your control. You want everything to be organized and perfect and according to your daily timeline. That's a great attitude for a dreamer to have, but remember that you're only human and it's impossible to wrap everything around your finger. You need to find a balance between writing everything down and ripping out the same page if in case the circumstances don't fit. Versatility and resiliency are very important attributes to learn. That’s the paradox of life --- the beauty and disaster work simultaneously. 



Stop being afraid of failure. Stop being afraid of the time you might waste doing something entirely different because it's never time wasted. The time you waste is the time you don't work for your dreams. Thinking about it, the fear overwhelms you, but that's because you're looking way too far from where you're supposed to. Your life doesn't only begin and end in birth and death. Life begins and ends anytime you want it. When you stop believing in yourself because you're tired of failing, then you're on the road to the death of your life, your dreams. That’s when your life ends when you’re not trying anymore. But when you take that step, when you put on that shower cap, when you put on that first pair of shoes, that’s when life starts again.

45 comments

  1. Hello, Idol Monik!! I'm so proud of you for finally taking the first steps of your dreams. You know that I'm always amazed by your works especially in writing because I know how eloquent you are. More of this pleaseeeee. I'll be sure to comment in every blog you make. Can't wait for you to be a famous writer soon

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    1. Thank you so much! A reward will be given to you for being my first commenter. God speed!

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  3. What a nice timing to read something motivational before reaching my twenties. Can't wait to read more of this. Glad to be able to partake this journey of yours. Keep shining Nik, can't wait for you to bloom in this field, happy that you're slowly reaching your dreams.

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  4. Wise words from future's number 1 writer. You will move thousands of hearts by just this article. How much if you write more? Keep pushing forward 👏👏👏

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  5. "Fear is a myth". People who constantly doubt on taking risk should be reminded about this line. It is an inspiration to extend our limits and explore what's beyond the other side of the mountain. Nice����

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  6. These are really important things we need to know and practice especially the entitlement part, no one really owes us anything.

    Anita x

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  7. Very glad to read your very first blog post. Keep up the good work! Good Luck with your blog.

    Nalaemton Selvaraj
    nalaemtonselvaraj.com

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it.

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  8. Entitlement is something so many young people tragically suffer to overcome. It's definitely a transition from being taking care of by your parents to adulthood. That entitlement mindset has to be left behind once you step into the real world.

    Nothing will come to you unless you make a effort and go get it.

    xo Erica

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    1. Absolutely! It's something we should learn to accept. Thank you so much for reading!

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  9. I love this blog! I'm going to share it with my students when we resume in class next week. There are definite take-aways in this for them (and me), so thank you for sharing! :)

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate it. I hope you share this with your students. I intend to help as many people as I can through my blog.

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  10. Wow! Those were some important lessons wrapped up in amazing words. Great lessons to take with me as I approach my 20s

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you found it helpful.

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  11. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you truly instilled it in your mind. God bless on your journey!

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  12. A nice post for all teenagers. You have sgared sone great tips here.

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  13. A nice post for all teenagers. You have sgared sone great tips here.

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  14. Well done on your first blog post!! It was very motivational - keep up the good work ☺️

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  15. Wish you all the best in your writing endeavours. And the motivations and uplifts you wrote is the key to drive forward in life and even to excel. With such a spirit one can achieve anything. Keep it up. And thanks for sharing x

    Isa A. Blogger
    www.lifestyleprism.com

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you found it helpful.

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  16. Nice first blog post - you did a great job - wish you luck with your further quest :)

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  17. Thank your for sharing, these are some great tips! I remember how lost i was before i turned 20...

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you find what you're looking for.

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  18. I have visited your blog, I read your posts with pleasure, congratulate. Wishing you all the best in your studies.
    I share stories on my blog that will change your perspective on life. You can visit my blog and read my stories.
    storiesademincik.blogspot.com

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  19. Great post. I agree, entitlement is definitely our worst enemy - we shouldn't expect something to just appear, we gotta work for it 💪. Congrats on the book 💖💖

    Caroline https://envirolineblog.com/

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  20. Loved this post. All 5 pieces of advice are valid throughout your life. I liked the "Stop being afraid of failure." Reminds me of a quote I have kept with me for so long:

    "Never risking failure means you never give yourself the chance to succeed." ~Unknown

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you found it helpful.

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  21. This is a really great article and excellent advice! I hope that everyone who needs to find this, does because you've laid out some of life's truths so nicely.

    Giulia, tidbitsofcare.com

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it.

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  22. This is a really great article and excellent advice! I hope that everyone who needs to find this, does because you've laid out some of life's truths so nicely.

    Giulia, tidbitsofcare.com

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it.

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  23. This is a great article! As I am turning 20 this year I am witnessing a lot changes in my life. choosing friends wisely and letting go of our fears is important. Really loved your advices. Thanks for sharing! and congrats on the book!!

    Harsha | http://dreamwithharsha.com/

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